Make mums more wanted and loved

MOTHER’S DAY falls annually on the second Sunday of May. It is a day to celebrate mothers. Soon, we’ll honour our mothers or, if they are not around anymore, someone else’s mother, to thank them for all their loving care, dedication and sacrifices in life.

Writing this, several days early, is for an even more important reason. For many of us who are caught up in the demands and pressures of daily life, a Mother’s Day card, some flowers, a gift that we choose or going out for a meal, are all we can do. One wonders if that’s all we can give back to someone who's so important.

We need to step back and give a little more time and thought to what it is that our beloved mothers might really want.

Mothers have a way of not telling us what they would like most or what they need — sometimes even if we ask them. They don’t want to trouble us, seeing we are already stretched and burdened with our own cares and commitments.

They have sacrificed, year after year, for their children and their families that they possibly don’t even have time to give a thought to their own needs.

Whatever we give them, share with them or do for them — or fail to do for them — they never fail to express how wonderful and loving their children are, and most times we take this for granted.

Often, it’s a little quality time that they would like to spend with their children and grandchildren, talking about simple things.

It might not interest us, at times it may bore us, but do give a patient, listening ear and try to enjoy it with them. It’ll make their day more than going out to a posh place for a sumptuous meal. Make them feel wanted and loved.

Recall actual incidents and events even if you have to repeat them. It’ll warm their hearts more than the best Mother’s Day card you can pick.

Take time, devote your efforts to find out what it is that your mother really needs — new eye glasses, new clothing as she may be using old ones, worn and faded, something new to read, music to listen to, videos to watch ... the list can go on and on.

You’ll know really what your mother would like only if you honestly and painstakingly try to find out, and, when you do and give it to her, believe me, it’ll warm her heart more than any gift you thought she’d like.

Again, you can be sure that she’ll not ask you for any of those because she feels she is bothering you and adding to your expenses. After all, you’re taking care of her in other ways.

Physical and verbal expression of one’s affection, done sincerely and as often as you can, devoting time and listening attentively, finding out and fulfilling needs and wants are more than the best bouquet of flowers you can give her on Mother’s Day or, in fact, any day of the year.

We have a week to plan. Let’s make this Mother’s Day different, one that will truly bring joy and cheer and fulfill the desires of our mothers’ hearts, be they our own, another’s or one of the many struggling single or destitute mothers, wherever they are.

Let’s give that little more time and effort to really find out and do it.

We can all make a difference and honour all our mothers in the process.

Happy Mother's Day.

RUEBEN DUDLEY
PETALING JAYA